I stopped regular physical activity after elementary school and paid the price in middle school and high school. Being fat is the worst thing that’s happened to me. No matter how good the other aspects of my life were, I was limited by my weight.

For being a smart guy, it took me a pretty long time to figure out that being fat sucked, and even longer to realize that I could do something about it. For my 17th birthday, I bought a first-generation iPod and made a commitment to a fat-free future. I loaded up some 80’s music and went running.

Looking back, it’s pretty funny to think about how bad I was. Let’s look at the path I started out on:

I ran the Freeman-Staniford-Lexington loop. It’s exactly 0.7 miles per loop. When I started out, I could barely run half of one loop without stopping. Everyday, I would run 2 loops, a whopping 1.4 miles, in about half an hour! That’s pretty slow.

Luckily, the human body does not care how comically slow you’re running. The weight started going away and I soon felt like a young Octavian, and have ever since. The scientists will lead you to believe that exercise releases epinephrine, which makes you feel good, blah blah. Getting a natural high is definitely a good reason to exercise. However, a better reason is so that you don’t become fat. Because being fat sucks. And the fact that you’re working on not becoming fat should make anyone’s day.

I got accepted into the 2008 Google Summer of Code program! It’s a Google initiative to pay programmers to work on open source software projects. I’ll be updating my blog more this summer.

I will be writing a Ruby library to implement various algorithms and data structures so that they do not have to be re-implemented in other projects. My submitted proposal is as follows:

Using the right data structure or algorithm for the situation is an important aspect of programming. In computer science literature, many data structures and algorithms have been researched and extensively documented. However, there is still no standard library in Ruby implementing useful structures and algorithms like Splay Trees, Red/Black Trees, tries, graphs, different sorting algorithms, etc. This project will create such a library with documentation on when to use a particular structure/algorithm. It will also come with a benchmark suite to compare performance in different situations.

By leveraging the flexibility of Ruby’s duck typing, the structures and algorithms can be used on all classes of objects as long as a few methods are defined, much like the Enumerable mix-in. The library will be written in Ruby so that it can be used by all the different Ruby implementations, but will also be implemented in C and Java for performance.

Possible data structures and algorithms:

• Trees (AVLTree, SplayTree, Red/Black Tree)
• Heaps
• Tries (Radix Tree, Suffix Tree)
• Graphs (Adjacency List, Kruskal’s Algorithm, Djikstra’s Algorithm)
• Sorting (Mergesort, Quicksort, Radix Sort, Insertion Sort)
• Searching (Knuth-Morris-Pratt, Breadth-first tree search, depth-first tree search)

Motivation:

To create a fast ruby library of common data structures and algorithms so that they do not have to be re-implemented for other projects.

Organization:

• The data structures part of the library will be implemented as classes to be instantiated.
• The sorting algorithms will be implemented as mix-ins, much like the Enumerable and Comparable libraries that require the user to define #each and #<=> respectively in order to get additional methods. The search methods could be added to built-in structures like arrays and strings, but this may cause conflicts with existing code and this must be considered.
• Algorithms related to certain data structures, such as Graph searches, will be implemented for the appropriate structure.

Reference:

The primary literature referenced will be Robert Sedgewick’s Algorithms (Parts 1 to 5), as it has both code examples and proofs for code complexity. I have used this book in many classes and it is a definitive resource for algorithms and data structures. For homework, I have implemented many of the structures and algorithms in Java, and have experience in writing benchmarks to test for different cases.

Implementation:

I plan to first write the entire library in Ruby and then implement it in C and Java for performance. Data structures and algorithms are low enough level that this is necessary. I have experience in both of the latter languages and should have no problem finishing over summer.

A benchmark suite will be created in Ruby (probably using RSpec) to demonstrate the best, average, and worst case running times for each algorithm and structure.

Documentation:

A key aspect of the project will be to provide documentation with real-life code examples to demonstrate the usage of the algorithms and structures. For example, the documentation entry for LSD radix sort will say that it quickly sorts numbers and strings, and will list the Big O complexity to be linear. A benchmark comparing the results with that of the Enumerable#sort will be shown, and hopefully the radix sort will be faster as it is O(n) and not O(n log n).

Explaining data structures will be trickier, as experience and theoretical background is needed to choose the right data structure for the problem. For example, many real world problems can be solved in terms of graphs. I will write up some realistic examples to demonstrate the use of trees, heaps and graphs, the main structures to be implemented. As with the algorithms, the documentation will provide benchmarks and Big O complexity.

Ralph Nader gave a fascinating talk at Emory tonight. He never mentioned his previous achievements, of which there are many, such as running for President four times (in 1992, 1996, 2000 and 2004) and writing the important book, Unsafe at Any Speed that led to a revolution in car safety. Instead, he dove right into talking about personal freedom and consumer rights.

Mr. Nader differentiated personal freedom from civic freedom. He explained that personal freedom included things like being able to freely marry, purchase goods, and other things on an individual level. These are liberties that exist in many dictatorships as well, not just democracies.

Civic freedom is different. How many individuals in America feel like they can change monetary policy, or change the course of the Iraq War? How many people have recently used the courtroom? The fact is that most people feel powerless when dealing with things at a higher than personal level.

He argued that while American universities offer classes in the arts and sciences, very few have a class on civics and how to be an effective citizen. He suggested that students petition their universities for a class in civics.

The other major topic of his speech was on corporate fraud. Even in law school, corporate fraud is rarely talked about, and only after major scandals such as Enron have people started to pay attention. Corporations like Exxon Mobil and Walmart make billions of dollars, while many of their employees can barely afford to raise their family. Mr. Nader talked about corporations as an artificial entity instead of targeting the actual people working for them.

He briefly touched on trade with China, arguing that it was not really “free trade.” Products imported from China have been found contaminated with all kinds of toxins and made headline news. This has put thousands of consumers at risk, including vulnerable ones like children.

There were a few memorable lines to remember. “If you get turned on by politics, politics will turn on you.” “If you know and don’t do, you don’t know.” These two phrases effectively summarized his plea for citizens to get active in civics and politics.

On current politics, he was critical of the Bush administration for removing personal liberties and expanding the power of the Executive Office. On party politics, he argued that the Democrats and Republicans are getting increasingly similar in that they now pick very few issues as contention points, such as abortion. However, people are interested and involved in many more issues that the two parties kind of ignore and do not differentiate between, such as the use of genetically modified crops, and the Federal Reserve.

When he was asked by a member of the audience about the 2000 election and his spoiler status, he became impassioned and argued that many other things could have led to a Gore victory and that he cannot be blamed. He ended by saying that while smaller parties may not be electable, they are key in helping guide the larger parties to the right path.

Mr. Funny Bones was already there. My buddies and I walked into the small, windowless classroom through the front door labeled “239”. The black, metal podium was in front of the standard-sized TV and VCR that belonged to the Math Office. Posters of World War I propaganda hung from the TV stand. Rolled up maps of Europe and Asia accompanied the blackboard. As I walked in, I was enveloped by history and geography.

I got in my seat, the second desk of the second row on the right side of the classroom. Sitting next to me was my friend Mike. As we took out our history folders, Mr. Funny Bones walked to the boombox and fiddled with it. A World War I era song was played. Mike and I talked about the usual: how Mr. Funny Bones played bad, old songs all the time. I looked under the wooden bench, which was dull, partially damaged and littered with writings. The little compartment was filled with junk and gum as usual. The classroom was in terrible condition, but we were used to it.

Mr. Funny Bones looked at the notes on his podium. He had plenty of white hair that covered his entire head. The many wrinkles on his face did not make his face of a comedian look old. Instead, it strengthened the effect, making him look like a jester at old age. He was wearing the usual: a white, plain shirt and baggy, brown pants. He had a beer belly that made him seem like an avid lover of food. He also wore silver colored glasses and an expensive looking watch.

“Ok folks, let’s start. First of all, I would like to tell you a story. You see, all of us are unique and different in our own special way. On a planetary scale, we are like a shooting star, streaking across the sky and disappearing in a split second. However, the light of the shooting star is bright and beautiful, illuminating the world. Thus, let us celebrate the life of… Sam.”

Students giggled throughout his story. He pointed his finger to the right side of the classroom and began humming a low note. We followed suit and hummed. “Kanwei, you’re out of tune.” The whole class laughed. As he went around the classroom, the notes went higher and higher until we broke out into singing the “Happy Birthday” song. He bent his knees and pointed his fingers to direct us. When we got to the third part, he slowed down and sang, “Happy Birthday dear Sam…” while making some popping sounds and doing some funny hand gestures, resulting in more laughter. “And since it’s your birthday, we have… a Snickers bar!”

This was one of his many methods for keeping class fun. It worked wonders, as it would get us excited for history, historically one of the most boring subjects. He would often start discussion on topics he felt would generate controversy. “Don’t be afraid to say whatever you want; this classroom is the safest place for any discussion.” When someone would interrupt him, he would interdict, “You’re infiltrating my air space, and by international law, I have the right to shoot you down.” This was one of many jokes acquired from twenty years of teaching experience. To make an easy transition from one topic to another, he would mumble some gibberish on the lines of “Abulamijadi”. This was his escape routine.

To me, Mr. Funny Bones was a history teacher who developed a way to turn a boring subject into an enriching and fun experience. Even though it sometimes seemed like he didn’t teach us anything, we were subconsciously absorbing a lot of information. He was gifted at using the power of fun in the classroom, and was a heck of an exceptional teacher.

Dogfighting is a felony in the United States. According to Wikipedia, it used to be legal back in the colonial days, but is now illegal due to its violent nature. It is interesting how much more pacifist society has become. Even bullfighting, practiced for centuries, is getting a bad rap in Europe.

Is dogfighting really any different than other violent treatment of animals? We kill millions of animals everyday for food, fur, and fun. Big game hunting is legal and widely practiced. Animals kill each other without remorse.

Could we be biased by our culture, where dogs are kept as pets and considered our best friends?

I thought about this and realized that the difference is in intent. Bullfighting is as much a sign of respect for the bull as it is for the matador. Hunting is something that the human race has always done for survival, and recreational hunting can be seen as a tribute to that instinct. Animals kill each other only for survival.

Dogfighting is different. It involves breeding dogs for aggressive traits by abusing them. They no longer become dogs; they become tools through which gamblers and often insecure men attempt to prove their prowess. This mentality creates a gateway to more heinous crimes.

Related: A CNN commentary on dogfighting.

My name is Kanwei and I’m an alcoholic.

Well, not really. Quite the opposite actually, but I’ll talk about that another day. I’m writing at 9pm from the bench outside the cafeteria (closed) which is next to the library (also closed). Has Emory spoiled me to the point that I expect every university to provide food and shelter 24/7? Why is there no Internet in my dorm? How do French students get any work done? Am I really complaining on a blog that will be read by my benefactors? (benefactors: no, I’m not really complaining, and thanks for the support)

You see, I arrived at the dorms on Friday at around noon. The previous day was a national holiday, and they forgot to tell me that in France, when Thursday is a holiday, Friday is naturally a holiday too. Duh. I was supposed to speak with the RHD of the dorms (on holiday) and ended up having to convince them that oui, je suis American, non, je ne suis pas un idiote qui n’a pas ses papiers, et oui, j’aime le football. I got to my room and instinctively looked for the ethernet plug. Nope. So I was stuck in my room, no Internet, no phone, and everyone was on holiday. What did I do? Go downtown, of course.

Since I didn’t feel like spending more euros on transportation (1.30€) because the exchange is now 0.7 €/USD, I walked along the tram tracks into the city. There, I found everyone that I had previously mentioned were on vacation. The streets were narrow and were absolutely packed. I had a good time looking at people I’d never met before (everyone) as I passed them. French people are taller than Americans on average, it seems. The city center was pretty nice, with an esplanade. I was pretty tired though so I left early. I’ll come back with the camera another day.

When I got back to the dorms, I met some of my neighbors. Yassine (Moroccan) was one of them, and I played Pro Evolution Soccer 6 (best football game ever) with him and his friends. It’s weird because I’d actually played this exact game back home (weird huh) and so I actually won a couple matches. We’re still friends to this day.

So anyways, I start work tomorrow and I’m still outside the cafeteria. It’s now 10pm and getting cold. Talk to you again soon, mes amis.

1999, Columbine. 2007, Virginia Tech.

Columbine is one of those events that can’t be forgotten. I was living and going to school in another country, and it affected me nontheless. It’s become a landmark in American history, a name that instantly conjures images of teenage violence. How could two teenagers kill so many in cold blood? We looked for answers. Neo-fascism? Social outcasts? Gun-control laws? Video games? No answer can possibly satisfy.

Now, a repeat in Virginia Tech. I had just seen their varsity rowing team compete at a regatta last week… even took pictures.

I couldn’t believe it when I first got the news. An asian guy killing 32 people? Never heard of such a thing. Hope I never do again either.

1. You’re probably very smart.
This guy has obviously never been a geek. Intelligence isn’t attractive; muscles are. Knowing Pi to 314 digits: No. Six-packs: Yes. Both: No.

2. It’s hip to be geek
Geeks don’t like other people. It’s why they dress so badly. Repelling others means more time to code. They just got lucky that T-shirts and jeans are currently à la mode.

3. You geek out on more than just your computer
Geeks also geek out on Star Trek collections, Warhammer figurines, and Pokemon decks.

4. Geek humor is the best humor.
The only requirement is that you have to be of equal geekity to understand the jokes. They go on the lines of: There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who are attractive and those who aren’t. (If you get this, you are truly a geek.)

5. You listen to good music.
They listen to good music while the guy with the guitar next door is getting busy.

6. You make good money.
More money for computer parts, Star Trek collections, Warhammer figurines, and Pokemon decks! In all seriousness, geeks like girls who don’t care about money, which is exactly why they fail.

7. You fix stuff.
For free. That makes them slightly worse than servants. Some genuinely want to help, most have ulterior motives.

8. You’ve got your own stuff going on.
Computer parts, Star Trek collections, Warhammer figurines, and Pokemon decks. Dude, everyone has stuff going on, not just geeks.

9. You’re very articulate.
Last time I checked, many bloggers can’t tell the difference between its and it’s, their and they’re, your and you’re, then and than. The worst part is that no one actually calls people out on these flagrant errors and so the Internet is further polluted with bad grammar on a daily basis.

10. You’re passionate.
Computer parts, Star Trek collections, Warhammer figurines, and Pokemon decks. The geek’s downfall? Thinking he’s better than everyone else.

Geeks despise being attractive, and most of them have gone to great lengths (most of their lifetimes) to make sure that it never happens, so please don’t take that away from them.

Giant Freaking Eagle: HI MY NAME IS EAGLEMAN I’VE COME TO GIVE YOU A SWEET DEAL ON CAR INSURANCE! PLEASE IGNORE THE FACT THAT I PROBABLY JUST DAMAGED YOUR CAR IN THE PROCESS! BUT DON’T TAKE IT FROM ME, HERE’S MY PARTNER TO TELL YOU MORE!

Eagleman lays an egg on the car. The egg spontaneously hatches and out comes… E.T. CHICKEN!!!

Women: OMG, look at those low rates in the mouth of that E.T. chicken that instantaneously hatched after being laid by a giant male eagle that landed on our car after we stopped for absolutely no reason! But let’s ignore that part and focus on the rates instead! YAY KAWAI!!!

Having been rejected and friend-zoned by countless women throughout his life, he has realized that it was never his fault… for his destiny with a biped was not to be. But let’s let him do the introductions.

Little red wagon of dreams. She’s my little red wagon of dreams. I wanna spend the rest of my life With my little red wagon of dreams. I once loved a woman that had two feet, Almost asked her to be my wife. But now I realize that I wasn’t complete Until you rolled into my life. How are you better? Where to begin. Plastic women have no lasting appeal. I’ll trade all of their smooth ‘n soft skin, For your certified die-cast steel. Oh she’s my little red wagon of dreams.
–Jim Liepkalns

I took the movie off this page since it was loading every time, but here’s a link to it.

Most blogs have precisely one reader—the blogger themself.

I think he was making fun of me. It’s not just a joke; it’s true most of the time. No one knows how many blogs there are. If you count a myspace profile as blog, albeit usually a vomit-inducing one, then there are at least tens of millions. If I had to guess, I would have to say that there are about two hundred million worldwide, or about 3% of the world population. Of those, I’d say only a quarter of them are regularly updated.

So what makes these 50 million people think that their opinion is important enough to let the whole world know? I mean, when was the last time you published your diary? (Not you Paris Hilton, we know you publish your sex life in video format once a year) Fame? Attention? To prove that you exist? All of the above.

The best forum poster I’ve ever encountered published his thoughts as dialogues with himself. He would tell a story, often referring to himself in the third person. It would usually star a misled young man, presumably his old self, seeking advice from a mentor, presumably his new self. It was the most effective form of textual communication that I’ve seen. He wasn’t telling you what you should be doing; he showed you his mistakes and what he learned so that you might not repeat them. Of course, I proceeded to make many of those same mistakes, but each time I learned something and had a greater appreciation of my experiences and life in general. When I go back and revisit his thoughts, I always find something I’d overlooked, like the subliminal messages that suggest he’s actually Eric Schmidt under an alias. Bad. Ass.

Your primary audience should be yourself.

There’s a new song out that has lyrics on the lines of:

Don’t pretend
I think you know
I’m damn precious
And hell yeah
I’m the mother fucking princess
I can tell you like me too
And you know I’m right
( I’m right I’m right I’m right)
She’s like so whatever
You can do so much better
I think we should get together now
And that’s what everyone’s talking about

Pretty good, right? Kind of makes me want to be her boyfriend.

It’s pretty tempting to fire up Facebook and see what’s up. I have a shortcut that gets me there in less than 2 seconds. How can you resist that kind of temptation? It’s like trying to write a paper with a movie playing behind your Word window. Just doesn’t happen.

Kids these days have a hard time staying productive.

Back to Facebook. I knew a couple of kids who didn’t sign up at first. I only know two such people now. It’s a very well-made and beautifully executed online service, much better than the competition. The fact that the author puts his name at the bottom shows how much pride went into it. An artist always signs his work. I’ll talk more about software as art some other time.

Facebook is addictive because it’s constantly updated. That’s what happens when you have a couple million contributors.

Hey, someone has commented on my note! Click

Probably my favorite quote of all time comes from the 30th President:

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated failures. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. —Calvin Coolidge

Success is earned through hard work, and good habits are its foundations. Want to lose weight? Liposuction’s one way. Another way is to go on a crash diet. The best way is to develop a habit of healthy eating and exercising. Always start slowly. Time is on your side if you stick to your habits.

Immanuel Kant – Never married.
Friedrich Nietzsche – Never married.
René Descartes – Never married. Illegitimate daughter.
David Hume – Never married.
John Locke – Never married.
Thomas Aquinas – Never married.
Gottfried Leibniz – Never married.
Baruch Spinoza – Never married.
Jean-Paul Sartre – Never married.
Arthur Schopenhauer – Never married. “Marrying means, to grasp blindfold into a sack hoping to find out an eel out of an assembly of snakes.” (Pretty kinky guy, apparently.)

Prominent scientists were not spared:

Isaac Newton – Never married.
Gottfried Leibniz – Never married.
Alfred Nobel – Never married.

These are some of the biggest names in Western history. They are also some of the smartest people to ever live. Why didn’t they get married and continue their legacy? Did their intelligence allow them to figure out something about life that most of us haven’t? (If it’s that most women are not worth dating, I found that out first week of college.) Yes, I’ve read all the articles about the positive correlation between intelligence and social ineptitude, lack of friends, depression, and generally everything bad about life. But even all of that can’t cause you not to have a special someone. I mean, these guys were bigshots. They made the choice not to get married. Were there no women up to their standards? No time for mushy relationship stuff? Wait, I got it. They chose abstinence because they couldn’t practice safe sex since contraception had not been invented. That has to be right. Either that, or I give up.

I’m not so smart. I signed up for crew two years ago with no idea what I was getting into. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Enjoying mornings rowing on tranquil water? Check. Getting into the best shape of my life? Check. Joining a white man’s sport? Check.

And so there I was, on the rowing ergometer, having never played a sport since dodgeball in elementary school. Coach Bryce Carlson gave me the quick lessons to get me started. “Hang from the catch”, “drive with the legs”, “feel the connection.” The essence of the whole sport in three quotes? I was starting to like this already! I changed my mind twenty minutes later when I couldn’t feel my legs and wobbled home. I must’ve looked like a chicken.

The thing about smart people is that they get obsessive about their hobbies. Crew became one of mine. I was terrible when I first started; on the first fitness test I was slower than… well I can’t think of anything quite as slow. Through hard work I ended up being almost as fast as my 6’2 “french explosion” buddy Jim, and our squad proceeded to do well at all our competitions.

So why do I row? I like to think that it’s “to be the best that I can be”, or to prove that asians can make good athletes, or that rowing makes a great allegory to life, or really anything with a purpose. The sad truth is that I’m just an addict, getting his fix on the erg. The pain of rowing gives the mind a certain tranquility as all your worries, fears, doubts and insecurities are drowned by the burning of all your muscles. The lingering high afterwards is also pretty cool. As all addicts know, your body acclimates to stimulation and you need more just to feel the same way, so I pull harder and harder. Getting faster is just a byproduct.

I feel a great achievement in being the #1 Kanwei (and Kanwei Li). It means that anyone who knows my name (and can spell it properly) can find me on the net pretty much instantly. It gives me a huge ego boost. How many people can say, “Just google my name, I’m feeling pretty lucky.” Boom.

It reminds me about how I got this domain in the first place. Back in the day, kids, domain names were monopolized by Network Solutions, and cost $70/year. Then one day they let other companies sell domains, and prices dropped to about $8/year. That’s when I got on the bandwagon and staked my flag in the fertile ground of the Internet. Kanwei.com. However, that would only be the beginning of my cyberland adventures.

This was sophomore year of my high school career. I had put up an anagram game of the 42 presidents on my website, and a bunch of mindmaps that I made for Honors Chemistry class. Things were good. Then one day, I forgot to renew my domain. The next day, it was owned by Commies.

You see, my name may be unique in the Western world (I’ll give you my firstborn if you find some non-asian guy called Kanwei), but in Asia, with its near endless number of people, impossible probabilities become very possible. In fact, a Chinese company had backordered the domain, almost as if they knew I would forget to renew. Their mind-reading machine must be working. For a full year, I had to live in shame as my domain belonged to a company that made, among other things, USB cables. How embarrassing.

Never one to take defeat, I planned my revenge. I used the same tactic that they had used on me. In a year, precisely on March 5, 2004, I had the name back. Wrestled back from the clutches of the enemy. They sent me an email (in Chinese nonetheless) asking me if they could buy it from me. Yeah right. They ended up with kanwei.cn, which is what they should have used in the first place. People have to realize that Americans are better than everyone else, and thus should have the privilege of being the only ones allowed to use .com’s. In a small way, I have done my part.

So, please stay tuned for more amazing, insightful posts by yours truly. For now, I have to do homework.

Well damn, it’s time for the playoffs again. It seemed like just yesterday that the Red Sox were first in the AL East. They finished 3rd after the Yankees and Toronto. Anyways, on request of Grant Maki, here are my predictions:

Oakland vs. Minnesota

3-1, Minnesota advances. Minnesota has the best bullpen (2.91 ERA) and Johan Santana. With any luck they will actually advance to the ALCS this year. It doesn’t help that the A’s love to choke in the ALDS.

St. Louis vs. San Diego

3-2, San Diego. Peavy and Wells will carry them through. As much as I hate to say it, David Wells is actually damn good in the postseason (lifetime 3.15 ERA).

Detroit vs. NY Yankees

3-1, NY. Derek Jeter.

LA Dodgers vs. NY Mets

3-2, Dodgers. Without Pedro, I don’t know if the Mets have the confidence to advance.

ALCS: Minnesota vs. NY Yankees

4-2, Yankees. Sorry Grant, but I don’t think the Twins have the experience or the heart to win this one.

NLCS: LA Dodgers vs. San Diego

4-3, Dodgers. In California, the North is always better than the South. Wow, great analysis Kanwei.

World Series: NY Yankees vs. LA Dodgers

4-1, NY Yankees. I think this time they will finally win it all. Their late surge shows that they have finally gotten their shit down, which is about time seeing how much money they are spending.

I used to have no idea why, but after taking Microeconomics 101 last semester, now I know. College textbooks are very inelastic goods, meaning that the higher they are priced, the more money publishers make. From your daily life, you experience things that do not behave like this. If a Walmart normal store starts charging more, people shop elsewhere. I have finally realized that Walmart prices only go down, along with the living conditions of its workers. The only difference is, there are no alternatives for college textbooks. They’re chosen by professors, and you have to buy them! Because of this, publishers can charge whatever and get away with it.

College bookstores are monopolies. They set the price high. Recently, more people have been shopping online, but they are still in the minority. The hassle of delivery and not being able to get your books instantly is a major turnoff.

And this is why college textbooks are expensive.

How could these silly sunglasses have possibly become so popular? Just about every “in” girl on campus dons a pair of these. When first designed, they were probably justly deemed ridiculous and were about to be thrown out when a teenage girl saw it and decided it looked good on her. The world has been worse off ever since.

After years of ignorance, I have finally realized that fashion does not make any sense. As such I will not even attempt to rationalize why girls love these things. One day, I will have a go at it myself and design something ridiculous for everyone to wear. Until then, I just have one thing to say, and I don’t think I’m alone: those glasses look absurd on 80% of you.

Ok, so maybe I exaggerated a little, but anyone who’s ever played a Civilization game can probably relate to this story. Why is this computer game so addictive? For starters, it gives you a sense of power, control and responsibility. It’s up to you to guide your people to greatness, mainly through military conquest, and if that fails, through winning the space race. If you’re really bad at the game, there’s always the diplomatic victory to shoot for, but be warned that you will be ridiculed by all your opponents when you win (even those who voted for you.)

For many, the Civ addiction is on and off. Like most drugs, withdrawal symptoms can present themselves in many forms, including fantasizing about accumulating stockpiles of ICBMs to nuke into outer space the next civilization who cancels its Open Borders agreement with you. However, once those fantasies have been realized through hours of pure bliss, real life can proceed normally until one day, many months later, the Civilization icon on the desktop beckons to be double-clicked on. The call is heeded, and somewhere, Sid Meier is smiling.

The benefit of compulsory voting is that everyone will technically be represented, realizing the ideal of democracy. One argument as to why turnout is so low is that it is tedious for Americans to register to vote, since it requires filling out paperwork and keeping updated records. Also, there have historically been many obstacles for certain people to vote, such as African Americans and women. The grandfather clause, literacy tests, poll taxes, and intimidation were all used to keep eligible African Americans from registering to vote. Making voting compulsory and automatically registering all eligible citizens, like how it’s done in some European countries, will once and for all solve these problems.

However, low turnout cannot be explained by how difficult it is to register. Even after making the process easier with the motor-voter law in 1993, and the passing of the Voting Rights Act of 1965, there is not much evidence that turnout has increased, even though there are more registered voters¹. One possible reason for the low turnout in national elections is that because of the winner-takes-all system, some voters feel like they don’t need to vote, as their state historically always goes to the same party. A person in Massachusetts can safely assume that the Democratic Party will win, and someone in Texas can assume that the Republican Party will win. Also, Americans separately elect every government official, as opposed to many European countries where one vote is used to determine a much larger outcome. Another reason is that there are many other ways of being politically active that can have more impact than voting, such as holding public demonstrations. For example, King’s March on Washington had much more impact than votes could ever convey.

There are too many fundamental problems in compulsory voting that will ensure it does not happen in America. First and most importantly, it is unconstitutional to force people to vote. The founding fathers wanted to ensure that government not intrude on personal liberties, and the right to vote, or not to vote, is one of those liberties. Second, forcing people to vote would be detrimental as some people simply do not care about politics, and do not know much about the candidates. They would vote blindly, or worse, randomly. For example, a demagogue could receive votes simply because people have heard of his name, and being forced to vote, put his name on the ballot on Election Day, not knowing any of his credentials or beliefs.

In conclusion, compulsory voting is not good for America. Low turnout is not a problem as voting is designed to be voluntary, and voting is not the only means of political representation and expression. The system is fine as it is and should be left alone.

¹ James Q. Wilson and John J. DiIulio, Jr. American Government: The Essentials. 9th ed. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004, p. 132-133

I also received a letter this week from campus administrators who were worried that students might be posting sensitive information, such as address and date of birth, and indiscreet photos themselves on facebook.com. Nothing spells incriminating quite like having photos of yourself passed out drunk, still holding a bottle, and being listed as a freshman.

While it may seem like innocent fun, there are definite consequences to posting sensitive information online. If a student later decides to run for public office, the media can easily acquire and publish some not-so-flattering pictures. Forget the paparazzi; people are doing the job themselves these days. I’m willing to bet that even employers are now conducting online background checks.

The moral of the story is that you should protect yourself by keeping sensitive information off the Internet, as it will be found. In this day and age, online privacy is virtually nonexistent.

The halftime show wasn’t that bad, as I got to watch the Ali-G show on DVD.

I was glad when the ordeal was over, as I could finish my French homework, which I found much more physically and mentally stimulating.

Another solution is to get a plainer looking girlfriend and say that it’s what’s inside that matters, but deep down you really want that other girl; you know, the one who smells like jungle gardenia and makes you wish you were a little more handsome.

A clever solution would be to act like a pimp and not have a girlfriend, since everybody know pimps have too many girls around to commit to one. Problem solved, but who are you kidding?

As you have probably figured out, the best way to solve this problem is to actually get a hot girlfriend. There are great risks involved, including rejection, embarassment, permanent loss of self-esteem, and being joke fodder for all her friends for months to come. If you decide the benefits outweigh the risks, proceed to make your move! If honesty is a concern, refrain from using too much alcohol, and don’t tell her you have a terminal disease. Remember, if that dumb fat guy can land one, so can you!